I am 29 years old and I have a bogeyman. When I was younger, he would chase me through my neighborhood at night. I never saw him but I always knew when he was close. The hair on the back of my neck would stand straight up and I could feel him breathing over my shoulder. When I sensed he was near I wouldn’t stop to turn around, I would just tuck tail and run like the wind.

I was fast so it wasn’t too difficult to outrun him. He never caught me and he faded away as I got older. I just assumed he got bored and gave up trying to catch me. But he is a hell of a lot smarter, and much more insidious, than I gave him credit for – I say this because my bogeyman is back and he’s been whispering in my ear this whole time…

I have just recently become aware of what my bogeyman has been doing all these years. He did, in fact, give up trying to outrun me (I’m still fast). But he never went away; he just changed his method of attack. You see, my bogeyman is responsible for that little voice that pops into my head from time to time telling me I may not quite be good enough or I may not quite have what it takes. He doesn’t care as to what his comments are referring to, he just waits until I am vulnerable and drops a few snide comments to sew those seeds of doubt. He likes to whisper to me using my own voice – not only to make me doubt myself, but also to make me anxious about all the things that could go wrong if I make a particular decision or step down a certain path. I have to give my bogeyman credit, he’s been pretty effective all these years. But now I know his game…and I am not going to let him beat me.

We all have self-doubts from time to time. All of us, at some point in our lives, give up on a goal or a dream because the end seems so far away and so unattainable that it’s not really worth the effort. But this can lead to a vicious cycle that affects not just one goal or dream, but ALL facets of our lives. Anxiety about what the future MIGHT hold leads to little mushrooms of self-doubt. Self-doubt, in turn, tends to make us more anxious about an uncertain future. When we have reached a sufficient level of anxiety and self-doubt, we become paralyzed by fear and become stagnant. When we become stagnant, we kill any momentum or forward progress that we had previously made. It’s like trying to ride a bike up a hill with the brakes on.

It pains me to say, but I have been caught in this negative cycle more times than I would like to admit. But rather than dwell on all the times I wasted momentum, all the times I gave in and believed the little nagging voice, I decided that enough was enough and that I would take a stand. And it’s working. Here are a few weapons I have been using in my battle:

Focus on the Present -

Everything is better when you stop worrying about a future that may or may not come to pass and instead focus on the task at hand. Develop a plan, but focus on what is right NOW and what is RIGHT now. And ENJOY yourself. Enjoy the process of putting yourself out there, of laying it all on the line. If you can focus all of your energy and enthusiasm on the small steps that are immediately in front of you and get yourself to take action, you will find that the paralysis by analysis is largely alleviated and you will build positive momentum.

Take Action and Fail Forward -

Whether it’s the saying, “get knocked down seven times, get up eight,” or the story of Thomas Edison finally producing the incandescent light bulb after a reported 10,000 attempts because he “simply ran out of ways that wouldn’t work,” the notion that one must first learn to fail in order to achieve great heights is ever-present in business lore. But the part that is misunderstood by most people is that the “failing” that facilitates growth actually requires action. Failure induced by action, if viewed from the right perspective and learned from, is actually a GOOD thing as it moves you closer to where you want to be. But too often we are afraid that all of our energy and our hard work will be for naught so we don’t even attempt to get moving. The only real failure in life is NOT taking action, NOT taking the chance for fear of falling short. If you want to gain further perspective on “failing forward,” read “Triple Your Rate of Failure and You Might Succeed” over at Illuminated Mind.

Condition Yourself -

Let’s be honest – even though we know negative self-talk is bad, we don’t do much to change it. In fact, we are our own worst enablers – we think it’s “normal” to let the mind chatter take control. But like any habit you try to break, it takes time, patience, and a certain amount of vigilance to monitor your negative thought tendencies throughout the day, especially in the beginning. But, over time, it becomes second nature. Don’t expect to “quiet the beast” overnight. Remember, it has been living and thriving unchallenged for quite a long time.

I can’t say my bogeyman is gone. I can’t say I have destroyed him completely. I know he is probably just biding his time waiting for me to slip up before he rears his ugly head. But I intend to stay vigilant and to never give him that chance again. For now, I am beating my bogeyman at his own game.

Paul

P.S.  If you liked this post please subscribe to the RSS feed or “tweet this” to your friends using the buttons below. I would also love to hear from you – drop a comment if this post moved you in any way (or even if it bored you to tears). As always, thank you for following along on my journey to “break the chains.”

Assuming you read my last post (Goal Setting for Dummies Part One – a Top Gun Analogy), you know I have struggled with a vicious cycle of setting tons of goals, following through with some but not ALL of them, and then getting down on myself for failing (again) to live up to the personal “rules” and high standards I set for myself…but then I would find myself jumping right back in to the same old habit of doing it to myself all over again. I knew this pattern SUCKED and I needed to change it but I had a difficult time finding and sticking with something that worked. But then I came across an old post from Leo at Zen Habits that inspired me to review and restructure the way I set goals for myself… In “Really Simple Goal Setting,” Leo iterates the importance of whittling all the numerous (and sometimes overlapping) goals you may have down to the ONE main goal that will most improve the quality of your life. I won’t go into detail about why honing in on one target is so important if you truly want to reach your goals or how Top Gun (one of the greatest movies of all-time) plays a role in this, but suffice it to say I had an epiphany of sorts. For a better understanding, shoot over to Goal Setting for Dummies Part One – a Top Gun Analogy.

Since adopting the strategies outlined below, I have not only experienced greater productivity in all areas of my life, I have also made giant strides in accomplishing my ONE main goal. Furthermore, I haven’t been waking up with that sense of anxiety or that feeling of being overwhelmed with all the things I felt I “needed” to do on any given day. Here’s how I revamped my “goals.”

Step One: Collect all the goals, rules, and standards that you set for yourself (whether they are written down or just in your head) and brain dump them into a list on a piece of paper. Do it…Seriously…Do it NOW.

Step Two: Identify the ONE goal, the ONE rule, or the ONE value that, if accomplished, would most improve the quality of your life. If you KNEW you could accomplish just ONE thing, which of the items on your list would most dramatically affect your life for the better? Write that ONE goal on an index card.

Step Three: Physically rip, tear, set fire to, or destroy the rest of your list Whatever it takes for you to physically and emotionally free up the space that your half-baked goals, rules, or standards have been occupying in your mind.

All this clutter is like that group of asshole “acquaintances” who were kind of “invited” to the party at your house who do nothing but hover around the keg drinking all your beer while screaming at every girl who walks by to do a keg stand. They make everyone feel just a tinge of awkwardness and then they puke all over your garage…yeah, they don’t really do anything to make your party better so kick them the hell out of there.

Step Four: Now that you have your ONE goal written down, turn it into a 5-6 word mnemonic mantra. If your ONE goal is to have a $15,000 net income month than make your mantra something like, “$15,000 dolla make-a me holla!” Yes, this is a little corny, stupid, and lame…but that’s the point. It’s a mnemonic device that acts as your “trigger” to action. Make it meaningful and make it fun. But limit it to 5-6 words at the most.

Step Five: Focus on your NEED to move forward with your one goal only and release the NEED to accomplish any of the other goals, rules, or standards that were on your list. This is a lot like step three but there is an important distinction – there are other things that you will work towards accomplishing in your life, other areas where you will direct your actions. That’s fine…but you have to remove the NEED to do all those things. The only NEED should be moving forward on your one main goal, the rest of your “to-dos” will take a back seat.

I can’t belabor this point enough – by removing the need to accomplish all the other things I had previously stacked up on my to-do list or in my goal sheets, I have freed myself up to fully and creatively attack my one main goal while still having the energy to get other things done. But I no longer feel like I HAVE to get those other things done. Removing the need to get those things done has actually freed me up to GET those things done. You dig?

I don’t know if this process will help you. Every person is different, everybody processes and relates to information differently. I can only let you know what it has done for me. I’ve made huge steps forward in my online business, I’ve been more productive in other areas of my life, and I’m less stressed out and anxious about all the “stuff” I HAVE to get done. I finally feel like I have removed some of the friction that was holding me back. And I have to say…it’s a great feeling

Paul

P.S. I would love your feedback. Please drop a comment if either of these last two posts have helped you with YOUR goals in any way. Or even if you are extremely proud that I FINALLY wrote a post that made it under 1,000 words…I’d love to hear from you either way. And Leo, if you are reading this, thanks for all the great advice at ZenHabits…

You can receive email updates of my most recent post by clicking here or you can stop by and say hi on twitter @paulnorwine

We all know the importance of setting goals and establishing priorities. Most successful people will tell you that you have to know where you want to go if you ever want to get there and you have to have a plan to succeed. But, if you are anything like me, you have struggled following through with all of your goals.

Do you set goals which empower and motivate you in the short-term only to lose focus and determination and fail to see them through to completion? Do you set up specific action plans to achieve those goals only to wake up in the morning to a vague sense of anxiety about how productive you need to be and how much shit you need to get done each day to reach those goals? Do you ever feel as though you are spread too thin, that you are pulled in too many directions, that there isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done? And, finally, do you ever stress yourself out to the point of inaction…and then feel guilty or upset that you weren’t as productive as you should have been that day?

Yes? Good! No offense, but it’s comforting to know I am not alone in this. It’s a vicious cycle – setting tons of goals, following through with some but not ALL of them, and then getting down on myself for failing (again) to live up to the personal “rules” and high standards I set for myself…but then I jump right back in there and do it to myself all over again. And it SUCKS!

I hate the feeling of being overwhelmed, of being stressed, of not being as productive as I know I could be, of not following through with all the things I set out to accomplish; it’s debilitating, demoralizing, and deflating. I knew I needed to do something different, that I needed to make a change…I just didn’t know what that change needed to be.

And then I stumbled upon a possible solution…

I have been reading Leo Babauta’s blog Zen Habits for a few weeks now. And I happened to come across a post he wrote last year titled “Really Simple Goal Setting.”

In this post, Leo describes the necessity of paring down and simplifying your numerous goals and objectives down to one main goal and mentally (and physically) tossing all the rest in the trash. He explains how choosing the one goal that will have the most positive impact on the quality of your life and dedicating yourself to that one pursuit actually increases your mental focus and determination to a point that makes attainment of that goal almost a foregone conclusion. He then outlines a process of further simplifying your “one goal” into a personal mantra that will help keep you continuously moving forward and motivated enough to see it through to the end. To say Leo’s post resonated with me is a bit of an understatement – it made perfect, simple sense to me. It was like being handed a copy of “Goal-Setting for Dummies.” I even came up with an analogy that describes the process.

Imagine yourself as a fighter jet – an amazingly complex piece of machinery that seems to defy conventional physics and beliefs on what is possible (admit it, you are picturing the F-16 with Maverick and Merlin at the end of Top Gun…that’s okay, so am I). That fighter jet is you – there’s not much you CAN’T do and your potential is relatively limitless. But you’re only as good as the tools you use – in this case, your focus and determination equate to the heat-seeking missiles that are attached to the fighter jet.

A missile fired cannot destroy more than one target. Once you lock onto a target and fire that missile, it ONLY goes after that ONE target. The missile can change speed and direction in an instant…and it remains flexible enough to stay on course despite evasive maneuvers by the target. But it pursues and harries its target with a one-track mindset.

But what is the prime way to deflect a missile from destroying its intended target? By “confusing” it with other heat-bearing charges. If the missile’s guidance system recognizes multiple heat sources that are similar in strength and consistency to the heat emanating from the original target, the missile becomes “aware” of the other sources and may become disengaged from the original target.

That’s what having too many goals does to your focus and determination, your own personal guidance system. Goals are defined as “the end toward which effort is directed.” If you have too many goals, too many similar “heat sources,” how can you expect your focus and determination missile to stay on track and hit the intended target? You can’t!

Leo’s advice (and this analogy) helped me reach a semi-epiphany on the reasons why I struggle with so much stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed in relation to the goals and rules I set for myself. The conclusion is simple:

If you limit the number of goals and personal rules, you increase your focus and determination. If you increase your focus and determination, you quickly come closer to the “end toward which effort is directed.” AKA, you accomplish your goal, dummy!

Granted, this philosophy is still relatively new to me and it’s difficult to break old habits. But, every day I have been getting better about it. And since I have been utilizing this method of goal-setting, my productivity in relation to my one main goal has increased by leaps and bounds. And I’ve been “working” less!

Funny enough, adopting this philosophy has not only increased my productivity in relation to my one main objective but also in relation to other areas in my life (areas that I used to set “goals” in). But the difference is, I am no longer feeling as stressed or overwhelmed about getting those “other tasks” done. It’s like removing the “need” to get them done has actually freed me up to “get” them done!

And the best thing about this new process? I haven’t been waking up with that subtle sense of anxiety every morning. I have been waking up excited about what my day is going to bring. I can’t tell you enough how amazing a feeling this is. This feeling, in and of itself, is MORE than worth the price of admission

So, what is the exact process I have been following? How exactly did I toss all my goals out the window to focus on one main goal and STILL get loads of stuff done? And how have I become less stressed by working less while getting closer to my one main goal?

It’s a simple enough process…but it will have to wait until later in the week. Please click this link to receive updates of future posts via email. Thanks for reading and see you back here soon! Also, drop me a line / comment letting me know what you thought of the Top Gun analogy

Paul

We all know football is a game of inches. And, if football is life and life is football, it stands to reason that LIFE is a game of inches. Al Pacino does a pretty nice job of summing it all up in one of the better movie pre-game motivational speeches of all-time:

“The inches we need are everywhere around us!” Are you fighing for each inch?

Have a great weekend and THANK GOD FOR FOOTBALL!

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” -Rabindranath Tagore

If you are reading this, chances are you are either already running your own online business and are looking to take it to the next level or you haven’t yet started a business but are very much interested in doing so. Either way, we all struggle from time to time trying to figure out exactly how to get the ball rolling. So what’s the absolute FIRST step you need to take to start a successful online business?

Just jump off the cliff and get started…Listen, we all want to improve our current life situations. We all have aspirations and goals, values and dreams. We all have “big ideas” as to where we would like to see ourselves in the future. But most of us continually struggle with actually turning those dreams into reality. Building a successful online business is no different.

Maybe you have an idea that you are excited and passionate about but you don’t have a clue as to where to start. Maybe you have experienced some minor success in adding people to your list but are unclear as to how to monetize that list. Maybe you have studied and learned some great concepts that are sure to take your business to the next level but haven’t yet implemented them because you’re not sure which tips and strategies will be the most conducive to your success. Or maybe you are merely waiting for the “perfect time.” If any of this sounds familiar than you’re not alone; but if you don’t stop procrastinating and don’t get off your ass to do something about your current situation your dreams will be just that for the rest of your life…dreams.

So how do you begin to transform your dreams into reality? How do you go about building a successful online business? It’s as easy as (but a lot safer than) jumping off a cliff. You JUST DO IT! Yes, Nike’s slogan has become a bit played out over the years…but that certainly doesn’t mean the message is not applicable to your current situation. Every successful person, regardless of the industry, will tell whoever is listening that the reason they are more successful than the average Joe is because they TOOK ACTION. They visualized what they wanted and then they got STARTED.

I can already picture some of you saying, “No shit, Paul. Get started?…great advice, asshole. How about you give me something tangible that I can actually apply? How about you lay out exactly what steps I need in order to get started.”

I can’t. I won’t. Everybody’s situation is different. Everybody’s path is different. But the point is, picture exactly what you want and GO GET IT. Make it happen.

Who gives a shit that you don’t know the first thing about developing a loyal list of followers who will eagerly pay you money for information and content that you develop? None of the gurus knew how to either when they got started. BUT THEY GOT STARTED. They visualized the end-game and started to move their feet. Sure, they spent time developing a plan. But, unlike most people, they had the discipline to APPLY what they planned and they learned from their mistakes. They failed time and time again…but they failed FORWARD and kept moving. Each dream, each project started as an idea. And they didn’t KNOW how to make it a reality until they put one foot in front of the other and made it happen.

My mentor, Alex Jeffreys, has beaten me over the head with the statement, “don’t worry about getting it perfect, just get it going.” And I am glad he beats me over the head with this advice. Because sometimes I get too involved with the planning stage. Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I get wrapped up in the HOW to do something as opposed to actually DOING that something. But when I focus on the end-game, when I picture in my mind the exact outcome I desire, and then I actually go out and do something about it, I stop worrying about HOW I am going to do it and I JUST DO IT. Not knowing what I am doing at the time is just a minor obstacle that I have to get through. I don’t stress over the hurdles I know I will have to jump over – I just get off my ass and start moving forward. There is always time to cost-correct or modify and change any errors you make along the way. It’s better to fail forward than to succeed at a standstill.

It’s mind boggling how much I accomplish when I have this mindset of just getting it going. And it’s equally amazing to me to notice how stressed out, worthless, and ineffective I become when I let go of this mindset and get bogged down with the “HOW am I going to do it?”

So let’s do a little exercise. You are going to tell me what you want and I am going to tell you how to get it. Here we go:

YOU: “Paul, I can tell by your blog posts that you are an incredibly wise and sage man. If Buddha and Confucius were to mate and have offspring I think you would be the result. I want to buy a boat but I want to pay cash for it and not use credit. How can I do this?”

ME: “Get off your ass, grasshoppa, and just get started. Make it happen.”

YOU: “But I make minimum wage, work 14 hour days, and have $10,000 in credit card debt. How can I possibly afford a boat you jerk?”

ME: “Get off your ass, grasshoppa, and just get started. Make it happen.”

YOU: “I hate you. You suck donkey-balls.”

ME: “Get off your ass, grasshoppa, and just get started. Make it happen.”

Okay, you get the point. We don’t always need to know exactly how we are going to get where we want to go, we just need to know where we want to end up and then get going. And though I mentioned above that I cannot and will not lay out the exact steps needed to build a successful online business, I will help point you in the right direction.

First, become completely clear about what you want to accomplish. Not just in terms of money but in terms of what that money will afford you. For those of you who read my last post, “Rich Schefren Called Me Out…but I Stepped Up to the Challenge,” you will know how important this part of the process is. If you aren’t clear on what you want (and I mean dead-clear), you will continue to float like a ship that has set sail with no destination. How can you GET what you want if you don’t KNOW what you want?

The method I used to “get clear” was simple. I pictured what my “ideal life” in five years would be like. I pretended I was watching a movie in which I was the main character and the plot was my ideal life in five years. When you do this exercise (at least when I did it), you may think it a little lame. But then I got into it. I started to picture, down to every last detail, exactly what I wanted in five years. From the view and location of my dream home, to my cars, to my golf game, to my relationship with my soon-to-be-wife and kids. Picture it all. And write down what you see. Once you have it down on paper, turn it into a story. It doesn’t have to be a long story. Just long enough and detailed enough that if anyone else were to read it, they would (1) know exactly what you wanted in five years and (2) be intrigued enough to want to read more. Once you have the story, read it at least once a week. Imagine your life in 5 years but view it as an outsider…like it’s someone else’s life. Because, in five years, it WILL be someone else’s life…it will be the new you.

Secondly, if you haven’t already started a blog, do so now. Right now, right this minute. Get it going. It doesn’t have to be perfect. A blog is not the only (or even the best) way to make money online. But it’s a start and gets you headed in the right direction. Everything else will fall into place and you will follow suit. Don’t stress if you don’t know the first thing about setting up a blog. Neither did I…but I made the decision to get a blog up and running and made it happen.

Getting started and taking action for me was seeking out the help of a blogging expert who is a fellow Alex Jeffreys’ student by the name of Matt Wolfe (http://www.matthewwolfe.com/). Not only was he able to get my blog up and running in a matter of days, Matt was able to set it up to my exact design specifications. Now, some of you may think this blog design needs work…and it does. But it was my first go at a blog and Matt Wolfe was able to whip up exactly what I wanted and I can’t thank him enough.

If you need to get your blog up online, or if you need to learn more about the coolest widgets or how to do something specific with your blog, Matt is the guy who can help you. Lucky for us, he has a series of videos (Wordpress Classroom) that explain in great detail how to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with your wordpress blog. Best of all, as I can attest, the videos are extremely easy to follow and are even short in duration (each video ranges between two and ten minutes). Even if you are a techno-phobe or code-phobe, Matt’s videos do an amazing job of walking you through each process step-by-step and you will have the know-how and tools to blog like the best.

So GO! Get going. It doesn’t need to be perfect…it just needs to get started. Whatever you are looking to do, get off your ass and get moving!

And I would love to know how it goes – drop me a comment if this post has helped you get those feet moving. Or, considering the extreme length of this post, if you started to nod off, drop a comment and let me know how I was able to help you have a great nap Until next time….

Paul

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