PaulNorwine.com

“1% of doubt is enough to erase 99% of motivation.” – Author Unknown

I am 29 years old and I have a bogeyman. When I was younger, he would chase me through my neighborhood at night. I never saw him but I always knew when he was close. The hair on the back of my neck would stand straight up and I could feel him breathing over my shoulder. When I sensed he was near I wouldn’t stop to turn around, I would just tuck tail and run like the wind.

I was fast so it wasn’t too difficult to outrun him. He never caught me and he faded away as I got older. I just assumed he got bored and gave up trying to catch me. But he is a hell of a lot smarter, and much more insidious, than I gave him credit for – I say this because my bogeyman is back and he’s been whispering in my ear this whole time…

I have just recently become aware of what my bogeyman has been doing all these years. He did, in fact, give up trying to outrun me (I’m still fast). But he never went away; he just changed his method of attack. You see, my bogeyman is responsible for that little voice that pops into my head from time to time telling me I may not quite be good enough or I may not quite have what it takes. He doesn’t care as to what his comments are referring to, he just waits until I am vulnerable and drops a few snide comments to sew those seeds of doubt. He likes to whisper to me using my own voice – not only to make me doubt myself, but also to make me anxious about all the things that could go wrong if I make a particular decision or step down a certain path. I have to give my bogeyman credit, he’s been pretty effective all these years. But now I know his game…and I am not going to let him beat me.

We all have self-doubts from time to time. All of us, at some point in our lives, give up on a goal or a dream because the end seems so far away and so unattainable that it’s not really worth the effort. But this can lead to a vicious cycle that affects not just one goal or dream, but ALL facets of our lives. Anxiety about what the future MIGHT hold leads to little mushrooms of self-doubt. Self-doubt, in turn, tends to make us more anxious about an uncertain future. When we have reached a sufficient level of anxiety and self-doubt, we become paralyzed by fear and become stagnant. When we become stagnant, we kill any momentum or forward progress that we had previously made. It’s like trying to ride a bike up a hill with the brakes on.

It pains me to say, but I have been caught in this negative cycle more times than I would like to admit. But rather than dwell on all the times I wasted momentum, all the times I gave in and believed the little nagging voice, I decided that enough was enough and that I would take a stand. And it’s working. Here are a few weapons I have been using in my battle:

Focus on the Present -

Everything is better when you stop worrying about a future that may or may not come to pass and instead focus on the task at hand. Develop a plan, but focus on what is right NOW and what is RIGHT now. And ENJOY yourself. Enjoy the process of putting yourself out there, of laying it all on the line. If you can focus all of your energy and enthusiasm on the small steps that are immediately in front of you and get yourself to take action, you will find that the paralysis by analysis is largely alleviated and you will build positive momentum.

Take Action and Fail Forward -

Whether it’s the saying, “get knocked down seven times, get up eight,” or the story of Thomas Edison finally producing the incandescent light bulb after a reported 10,000 attempts because he “simply ran out of ways that wouldn’t work,” the notion that one must first learn to fail in order to achieve great heights is ever-present in business lore. But the part that is misunderstood by most people is that the “failing” that facilitates growth actually requires action. Failure induced by action, if viewed from the right perspective and learned from, is actually a GOOD thing as it moves you closer to where you want to be. But too often we are afraid that all of our energy and our hard work will be for naught so we don’t even attempt to get moving. The only real failure in life is NOT taking action, NOT taking the chance for fear of falling short. If you want to gain further perspective on “failing forward,” read “Triple Your Rate of Failure and You Might Succeed” over at Illuminated Mind.

Condition Yourself -

Let’s be honest – even though we know negative self-talk is bad, we don’t do much to change it. In fact, we are our own worst enablers – we think it’s “normal” to let the mind chatter take control. But like any habit you try to break, it takes time, patience, and a certain amount of vigilance to monitor your negative thought tendencies throughout the day, especially in the beginning. But, over time, it becomes second nature. Don’t expect to “quiet the beast” overnight. Remember, it has been living and thriving unchallenged for quite a long time.

I can’t say my bogeyman is gone. I can’t say I have destroyed him completely. I know he is probably just biding his time waiting for me to slip up before he rears his ugly head. But I intend to stay vigilant and to never give him that chance again. For now, I am beating my bogeyman at his own game.

Paul

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